Thursday, February 26, 2009

Tis' progress... and maybe snow!?!?

Good morning everyone! Apparently Rider U is supposed to be receiving anywhere from 6 to 17 inches of snow, depending on which weather website (ALLITERATIONNNNN!) you decide to listen to! The only way I will be able to full appreciate the snow is if it snows the PROPER way. By this I mean none of that "slight flurries" nonsense, I'm talking beautiful legit snowflakes! Those dinky little flurries are kind of like nature's version of fat free snow I guess you could say.

Good grief, did I really just make that analogy? Yes, yes I did. This brings me to the point of talking a bit about my last counselling session on Tuesday. Basically it was me blabbing for quite a while about all these revelations that I seemed to have had throughout the course of last week. I think because I've been trying to slowly make the transition to the "healthy" way of life that it's caused me to pick up on things that have become completely routine for me. For instance, there's this:

I'm not if you can see it super clealy but basically that is me stopping mid-note to count the calories that I've had; this was the other day, perhaps Monday? (And I was learning about Beoqwulf too!) I had NEVER noticed this before so I started browsing through some of my older notebooks from last year and first semester of this year. Let me tell you, these little calculations are ALL OVER THE PLACE. I'm pretty certain that every time I took notes I count calories as well. Lee (from For the Love of Peanut Butter, forgive me, I don't know how to provide links!) just mentioned this EXACT thing in her most recent post and when I read her amazing words of wisdom concerning the matter I instantly felt comforted. I have this immeasurable amount of respect for that girl and reading what she had to say reminds me that change is hard, but it CAN happen!


My Leah (my counsellor!) told me that the fact that I even caught on to this behavior is progress within itself. I'm seeing everything as if equipt with a new set of eyes. I've been able to catch on to many of my acquired habits that I've had as long as I can remember. I STILL keep under 900 calories, I STILL think about food constantly, I STILL feel guilty after eating a good chunk of the time and I STILL have a sense of immense unhappiness in regards to my views about my body but now I KNOW that I'm doing these things. A year ago this would've been regarded as completely normal but to be blunt, these things are not normal under any circumstances. It's a step towards changing for the better. =) One thing at a time.

I do have something QUITE EXCITING to make mention of though. Drumroll please!

(random drumroll noises)

My count has officially reached a MONTH!!! I'm both surprised and extremely pleased with myself; it's a big deal to have gotten this far. I can't help but make the reference last year; it would have not been a thought in my mind to stop what I was doing. Now, however, I'm blatantly proud of myself! Say yesssss to progressssssss. I'm a snake! Sssssssssss. Errrr...... yay for me!

Can anyone say HARRYPOTTERLAND??? 2010.... the English major children of Rider U are GOING TO BE THERE BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!



Kat said...

Your count??

Haha Keri you are an extremely entertaining blogger, :)

KeriBop said...

That's my attempt at using secretive code language.

Glad yooooooou enjoy it!