One of the best compliments I've heard in a long time.

It's raining and thundering and lightening... not.a.fan. You would think that I would be over this fear by now but no. I'm still pretty freaked out during storms and prefer to stay inside if I can manage it. Haha, even in my early 20's I'm still a little girl who's afraid of thunderstorms and balloons.


Happy 4/20 by the by! If you celebrate one holiday you should celebrate them all (if that's your thing mind you!) Personally, I'll probably not be embracing the spirit but, um, be green! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.


Well, now that I've sort of just suggested that people go out and smoke up this would be the perfect time to mention that my PHOCUS interview is OFFICIALLY on Thursday. It's a real set time and I was told that it'll be a "group discussion" with the man and woman in charge of the whole thing. Despite the fact that the interview will probably be more low key if anything, I'm still pretty nervous about it. PHOCUS has become extremely important to me which is both scary and empowering at the same time.


Progress is being made. How do I know? Ponder me this... at dinner two days ago I received this comment.




"Wow. You're eating like the healthiest meal I've ever seen here."




YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. That's a MAJOR boost to my ego in case you haven't noticed. I've been trying extremely hard to slowly change my eating habits and make all the right choices. To hear something like this does make me feel like things are getting a little better. It's still difficult but I'm trying. Like for reals.




Vague. Random. I haven't got that much to say I suppose. Haha. I've got counseling homework that I have to take care of for tomorrow morning so I supposeeee that I should get on that!

I WANT to be a runner.

I suck. I suck. I suck.




Alright, now that THAT'S out of the way I can continue blogging like a seemingly normal and productive child. Actually that's not true because you see, I kind of/sort of/maybe skipped my Medieval Lit class to write a paper. I know, I'm a bad person. Roomie justified it for me by saying that we shouldn't have had to do anything today because it's Easter Monday. I must once again thank my Roomie for never failing to provide me with logic; even if it's just encouraging my bad behavior!


But yes, Easter weekend has come and gone in the blink of an eye! Although I was only home for two days, I had a really good time anyway. I ended up getting to see both sides of my family which was kind a treat within itself. I've always been the type that has always been strongly connected to my family and try to attend any of the functions as often as I can. And why wouldn't I want to? Typical characteristics of a LaForge and/or Merkle party include intense laughing out the wazoo, lots of tasty foodstuffs and just a general feeling of happiness. As much I hate to word it like this, family parties are one of those times where everyone forgets the animosity, forgets the hardships of the past and, even if it's just for that day, forgives each other. Guess I'm just one of those ole' fashioned "EVERYONE SHOULD BE HAPPY AND GET ALONG" types. It never hurts to have optimism!




As for Easter presents? I told my mom I didn't want anything, you know, considering the fact that I'm 20 and everything. However, she bought me a few little things from Walmart anyway. What did I tell you mommmmm?!?! Haha, it's all good though. I received a tank top (with lips all over it? LOL), two boxes of Crystal Lite packets and a bag of peanut M&M's. Oh dearrrrr. As much as I would love to trust myself having those lovely candies in my room, I don't. I'm going to have to get rid of them somehow but that shouldn't be that hard considering I live on a college campus for grape's sake.


So I have a bunch of homework to take care of (including homework for counseling!), clothes to put away and all that jazz and what am I doing instead? Blogging and reflecting upon the fact that my Cashew Cookie Larabar says I should have eaten it back in December. Ooooooops. It still tastes pretty good to me though so I think I'm good!


On Saturday I was talking to Cate (my sister) about running at the gym. She proceeded to tell me how she's been improving her endurance/running skills, similar to how I've been doing. Long story short, we made something of a decision to train well enough to be able to run some kind of long distance race towards the end of the summer. The aspect of such a thing seems both really scary and really exciting at the same time. It's going to be a lot of research, a lot of persistence and A LOT of work but I want to do it. There's a possibility I might not be able to do it; I'm sure as hell willing to try though. My stats are of a runner wannabe at said point. At the gym this morning I managed almost 3 solid miles in about 35 minutes. I definitely need work. Looking back I realize that I don't pace myself properly, which is a BIG deal. I've started looking around google for help on the proper way to go about this but if someone does happen to read this and has some good advice for me I would much appreciate it!


Upon searching around the blogworld I've realized that I would like free samples of stuff! (Randommmmmmmmmmm) That's the selfish brat in me talking, by the by. I've always been a free sample kind of girl, even back when I was younger. Who doesn't love a good free sample though right?? Yeah, whatever this is right here kind of turned into a commercial break in a sense. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming!




Unnecessary lalala-ing, I need to go forth and try to be productive! Until next time <3>

Oikos, Queer As Folk and blogging in general!

Sigh.






Sometimes, I'm the worst blogger to ever exist ever. I remember this one time I made a promise to myself to blog at least once every two days and now it's been two weeks perhaps? Grapes. I'm awesome like that.




One bad thing about having these ridiculously long intervals is that all my life's happenings keep accumulating and there's so much to say that I never know where to begin! Maybe I'll do the little bullet point things to keep it organized; I'll be here all day otherwise!

• 2 months has come and gone (and then some!) I'm extremely extremely extremely proud of myself for what I've accomplished and am going to keep fighting to go in the right direction!
• ED associated things aren't exactly going spectacular though. I've decided that I will definitely be seeing a specialized therapist over the summer to help me. As much of an advocate I am for a healthy lifestyle and despite the knowledge I have concerning proper nutrition, my own advice is not easily taken. My sessions in counseling have been more focused on fixing certain aspects of my life and now that those things have been "taken care of" in a sense, I'm faced with ED; everything goes back to it. I'm not getting into detail but it's been on my mind more frequently than usual. I WANT to break out of all these horrible habits/rituals/ways of thinking so yep, I'm going back to therapy.
• I tried my first OIKOS greek yogurt the other day! The verdict? I LOVED IT. I had the one with the honey on the bottom and it was seriously heavenly. I've never really had honey directly before so it was truly lovely to be introduced to it in a big ole' container of yougrt! It added a great sweetness to it and the strawberries I put in it went together perfectly! It was also super filling and despite my poor college-ness I would consider buying them more often, probably when I go back to work this summer (I'll have money to buy them!) It gets a major thumbs up from me and was worth the extra calories by far......So shove it ED! <3
  
• I'm going home for Easter tomorrow and am quite excited about that because on Saturday we're having Easter Pie at Mamere's. This means that I get to see my family from my mom's side and those parties never fail to dissappoint; gotta love the crazy family dynamics.
• Roomie and I finished the entire first season of Queer As Folk and we are ADDICTED TO IT. Back in high school I was kind of obsessed with Hal Sparks and had always wanted to watch the show but couldn't. My best friend from junior year bought me the first season and although I had it I STILL didn't watch it.
  HOWEVERRRR, when Hal Sparks decided to take a visit to the lovely Rider U the obsession was resparked (PUNNNNN!!!!). Yes, it's an amazing show and it may be graphic but it's LOVE. End of story.

I must cut this entry off for now... Dalys time! <3